A few gentle resources you might explore, only if and when they feel supportive:

  • On Insight Timer, there are several 10-day courses for anxiety that many people find grounding during periods of acute fear. You might take it slowly, even repeating days as needed. Here's a second option.

  • Thich Nhat Hanh's book, No Death, No Fear is full of teachings many have found helpful when facing the death of a loved one. 

  • If you feel able, I strongly encourage finding live, human support. Practicing with others can be profoundly regulating. You could look for a local grief group or mindfulness group or sangha. If you’re drawn to the Plum Village tradition, you can find groups through the sangha directory on the Mindfulness Bell website. If none are nearby, other Buddhist traditions or secular mindfulness groups can also be a good fit.

  • My colleague Dr. Jean Metzger offers an online grief support group and you can reach out to her for more information at: Jean.Metzker@vnshealth.org

  • A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course can be especially helpful for anxiety and health-related fears, as it works gently with the body and nervous system over time. These are offered both in person and online.

  • If grief ever tips into feeling unbearable or unsafe, reaching out to a grief-informed therapist or counselor is an act of care, not weakness.

A few gentle resources you might explore for surgery/illness, only if and when they feel supportive:

  • The Buddhist tradition absolutely has practices of sending prayers and healing energy. While we may use somewhat different language than in Christianity, we deeply believe that our thoughts, intentions, compassion, and collective practice can nourish and support others. Loving-kindness (mettā), compassion, chanting, and the dedication of the merit of our practice are all ways of offering our hearts and energy to those who are suffering.

    One thing I would encourage is reaching out to the office at Blue Cliff Monastery and asking to be added to their prayer list. The monastics chant every day and regularly dedicate the merit of their chanting and practice to those who are experiencing serious illness, loss, or other difficulties. I think you would find comfort in knowing that a whole community is holding you in mindfulness and compassion.

    You also asked about teachings that might be supportive. There are a few books that come immediately to mind:

    • The Energy of Prayer by Thich Nhat Hanh explores the role of prayer in Buddhism and the power of our deepest aspiration and intention.

    • No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh offers profound teachings for meeting illness, uncertainty, and fear with greater peace and freedom.

    • Living Well with Pain and Illness by Vidyamala Burch is a wonderful, practical guide to bringing mindfulness and compassion to the experience of illness.

    • Also the Plum Village YouTube channel has many online talks by Thich Nhat Hanh on dealing with illness, and the free Plum Village app also has many meditations and deep relaxations that can soothe fear and anxiety and support you on your healing journey

    If your health allows, I would also encourage you to consider joining a support group, and perhaps spending a day at a monastery or retreat center for a Day of Mindfulness or even a short retreat. Practicing in community can be incredibly healing during times of illness. Even if nothing about the medical situation changes, being surrounded by people practicing with presence, kindness, and stability can help us feel less alone and more resourced.

    Please know that I will be holding you in my own practice and wishing you steadiness, courage, and ease as you move through this next chapter. May your surgery go smoothly, may your body receive the care it needs, and may you be surrounded by love and support every step of the way.